I'm angry-to say the least. I have a bunch of emotions running through me.
Let me list and then explain.
-My dad was admitted to the hospital last night and the only reason i found out was because I called my mom. Yes, NO ONE called me to inform me. I called my mom to see how she was doing and she only told me then. Would she have told me otherwise?? Who the hell knows, but I'm very upset about the whole thing. She didn't even bother to give me the number-she gave me the extension and expected me to find out the number myself. She said that she was afraid that I'd worry too much. Well, what would go through your head with a statement like that? The only reason someone would not say something is if it was bad. And, if it was okay, then she could have called and said my dad was okay.
-I'm feeling rather lonely. I think the part that stinks about the most is that I could be sitting right next to Greg or with my other roommate and I still feel so lonely. I have asked Greg multiple times to play video games with me, ones that HE has bought so WE could play together and he just doesn't play with me. Three times now this has happened in less than a week. The first time I asked him to play with me he handed the remote right over to my friend and played with her-totally ignored me even after I said something about it. My other friend heard me and said she'd play with me and she did. Then, the next time I wanted to play and I was finishing up my work and he started playing BY HIMSELF! He wanted to beat a level. I wanted to play Tetris and he wanted to play Peggle so I agreed and then he played alone! Then today, I asked and he said ok, then turned on a boring movie and continued to watch that. I got angry so he finished his dinner and left. Tell me why I shouldn't feel lonely. I was really upset about my dad and he says to me, "I'm sorry I have to write my paper so I have to leave you alone". Talk about taking time to help his girl out. He left, closed his door and did his work. I'm very upset with him, yet he is so oblivious to the whole thing.
Whatever.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sunday, April 5, 2009
My Mind Races
I'm a true Gemini. I always have so many things running though my mind that I usually can't spit it out in a coherent sentence. Right now...this is what is going on...
I never replied to the job opportunity
I need to write about my first year of teaching in just one page...I haven't even begun because just like my head right now...thats how I feel about my first year teaching
We're starting the Inventions unit in Global Studies and I have no idea what my true objective is so I don't know where to start
I need to do some research for my team meeting tomorrow... I did a little, but not enough
I need to grade about 25 Kids Around the World Folders and am truly not excited about doing that
I need to plan for my after school activity for tomorrow
I need to print out pictures of my pride time
I need to plan my Pride Time for tomorrow
It is 10:23 and I can't get anything done because my mind races around too much
I think I have an adult onset of ADHD
I think I finally know what my students feel like
I want something to happen now so I can share it with everyone, but at the same time I feel like I can't share my excitement with other people because I'm always trying to make them feel better
I learned to knit and I am SO proud of myself-still working out the kinks
I wish I could do crafts for a living-that would be the life
My students found my blog....how weird. I hope they forget and dont look at it again.
I need to watch many one hour videos to preview its content for class
Tell me where to begin
Life is complicated
Life takes your money
Life is about money
I hate that
I hope one day my students will see why I want them to be responsible and respectable.
Okay, I need to calm down and get down to business for the next half hour before bed time.
Wish me luck!
I never replied to the job opportunity
I need to write about my first year of teaching in just one page...I haven't even begun because just like my head right now...thats how I feel about my first year teaching
We're starting the Inventions unit in Global Studies and I have no idea what my true objective is so I don't know where to start
I need to do some research for my team meeting tomorrow... I did a little, but not enough
I need to grade about 25 Kids Around the World Folders and am truly not excited about doing that
I need to plan for my after school activity for tomorrow
I need to print out pictures of my pride time
I need to plan my Pride Time for tomorrow
It is 10:23 and I can't get anything done because my mind races around too much
I think I have an adult onset of ADHD
I think I finally know what my students feel like
I want something to happen now so I can share it with everyone, but at the same time I feel like I can't share my excitement with other people because I'm always trying to make them feel better
I learned to knit and I am SO proud of myself-still working out the kinks
I wish I could do crafts for a living-that would be the life
My students found my blog....how weird. I hope they forget and dont look at it again.
I need to watch many one hour videos to preview its content for class
Tell me where to begin
Life is complicated
Life takes your money
Life is about money
I hate that
I hope one day my students will see why I want them to be responsible and respectable.
Okay, I need to calm down and get down to business for the next half hour before bed time.
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Life....Ahhhhh
Life is hectic. That alone is an understatement. I haven't written about my life lately because sometimes I feel exposed about what I write and I don't want everyone to know what I'm going through, especially now that I am in the public eye with being a teacher. However, life has been so greatly stressful that I need a place to vent. A place where I can pretend someone cares to listen and understand. I vent to Greg all the time, and he gives his heart-felt advice, but I know that he has no idea what I feel like.
Stress is a great word to use right now. Along with insanity, overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, falling-apart. Do you have any other great words from the thesaurus I can use that explains what I'm feeling right now?
Lets start small and go big.
Spring Break: My plan for Spring break was to get out of Iowa. Away from Des Moines. A time and place to worry about nothing. To live life for me. A place I can get away from work. From school. From grading. From uncaring kids. Just away. Well now, Gregory has chemotherapy reatment in the middle of Spring break...right dead in the middle. So now, all of my plans of traveling to California are gone. I can't travel there in back in just three days. Not happening. His professor suggested going to another part of Iowa-doesn't sound too appealing to me because I want to get out....I NEED to get out.
School: My students are going through something. I have lost my cool and patience with them. If they disobey, I yell. I'm not a happy camper. They could care less to be there. I love to teach kids that are excited to learn. If I try to make the lessons fun they just take advantage of it. They think they can sit there and do nothing. They are not afraid of admitting it either and if I call them out on it, then its arguing on why its not fair or they don't know how to do it so they won't do it. What do I do about this? Three options: they can get to work, take a time out 2, or get sent to the office. Of course resilence to the former leads to the latter.
Work: I have been offered another job in a different district. I worry because I'm not sure if my reply went through. I said I needed to think about it. My email said it's been replied but it was not in my sent box, which does that mean that it didn't go through? I don't know. Everyone is waiting for my response. My school doesn't know this has happened. Only my close friends know, and now you. It is a really good district to work for, however, I've already networked through my current district, I'm involved with the IB, I do after school activities, and they want me to be a union rep next year. I just don't know what to do. AHHHHH. I need to talk to someone that knows what to do.
I have bills to pay. I forgot to pay one because it just slipped my mind. Fortunately, it was only for like 10.00 dollars so my late fee won't be too late. I also had overdue library books. :( I'm just bad. I leave school too late to do anything that needs to get done. I give up my lunch to help students, I give up my after school plan time to help students and by the time they leave all offices are closed. I just don't have enough time. Now, I have to grade.
I usually use retail therapy when I'm feeling like this but I need to controll myself. My bank is keeping track of my spending on retail shopping and I spend more than 100 dollars a month....that is usually clothes :( I need to stop. I need to be less stressed. I need an out.
Wish me luck. ahhhh.
Stress is a great word to use right now. Along with insanity, overwhelmed, frustrated, confused, falling-apart. Do you have any other great words from the thesaurus I can use that explains what I'm feeling right now?
Lets start small and go big.
Spring Break: My plan for Spring break was to get out of Iowa. Away from Des Moines. A time and place to worry about nothing. To live life for me. A place I can get away from work. From school. From grading. From uncaring kids. Just away. Well now, Gregory has chemotherapy reatment in the middle of Spring break...right dead in the middle. So now, all of my plans of traveling to California are gone. I can't travel there in back in just three days. Not happening. His professor suggested going to another part of Iowa-doesn't sound too appealing to me because I want to get out....I NEED to get out.
School: My students are going through something. I have lost my cool and patience with them. If they disobey, I yell. I'm not a happy camper. They could care less to be there. I love to teach kids that are excited to learn. If I try to make the lessons fun they just take advantage of it. They think they can sit there and do nothing. They are not afraid of admitting it either and if I call them out on it, then its arguing on why its not fair or they don't know how to do it so they won't do it. What do I do about this? Three options: they can get to work, take a time out 2, or get sent to the office. Of course resilence to the former leads to the latter.
Work: I have been offered another job in a different district. I worry because I'm not sure if my reply went through. I said I needed to think about it. My email said it's been replied but it was not in my sent box, which does that mean that it didn't go through? I don't know. Everyone is waiting for my response. My school doesn't know this has happened. Only my close friends know, and now you. It is a really good district to work for, however, I've already networked through my current district, I'm involved with the IB, I do after school activities, and they want me to be a union rep next year. I just don't know what to do. AHHHHH. I need to talk to someone that knows what to do.
I have bills to pay. I forgot to pay one because it just slipped my mind. Fortunately, it was only for like 10.00 dollars so my late fee won't be too late. I also had overdue library books. :( I'm just bad. I leave school too late to do anything that needs to get done. I give up my lunch to help students, I give up my after school plan time to help students and by the time they leave all offices are closed. I just don't have enough time. Now, I have to grade.
I usually use retail therapy when I'm feeling like this but I need to controll myself. My bank is keeping track of my spending on retail shopping and I spend more than 100 dollars a month....that is usually clothes :( I need to stop. I need to be less stressed. I need an out.
Wish me luck. ahhhh.
Friday, January 2, 2009
MIA and back
Okay, so I've been MIA through the holidays because of a big mess of technical problems at my mom's house, where I've been for the holidays. So last time I was home the new internet service was supposed to be activated. Well, the technicians never came, so the service never happened. My sister stayed home all day waiting for them and didn't hear anything from them. She called the providers about the situation and they said that a technician did come. My sister said that the person never came to the door or gave her a call that he was there, and the internet still did not work. The providers said that they would reschedule, but they couldn't get out here until Dec. 30! A whole month later! My sister went with it...what can you do, right?
Well, Dec. 30th rolls around and the providers told my sister they would be there anywhere between 8-12. 9:30 rolls around and there is no sign of them, and to avoid the mishap from last month she calls the providers to make sure that they were on there way. The service help first says we have the wrong account number....her fault! Then says that they will be at our house between 11-12. My sister had to be at work by 1pm. 12:45 comes around and still no one. We call the providers again and she says the last operator should have told us that the the technicians have all day events and, really, they can come anywhere between 8 am and 8 pm! ARE YOU SERIOUS!? The operator continues to tell us that the ETA now is 1:37 pm....what? Anyway, my sister leaves for work and I said I'd handle it. I was on the phone with a friend when I noticed the provider's van outside past 2 pm, but I couldn't see the technician. I even had my brother go check to see if he could see him from downstairs. Then, when I checked again the technician was gone! He never came to the door to let us know that he had arrived, he never came to let us know it was working, or to ask us if we knew what we were doing. All, I have to say is that my mom was lucky that I was around for this because I figured it out, but it was quite a process. In my many experiences of getting a new internet service I have never had such horrible service. I also have never had to go through so many pages of inputting data to get the internet started. I mean it works fine now, but I don't think my mom would have been able to do it and the fact is that the technicians are supposed to make sure we know what we're doing. Oh well.
New Year was good. I was with my family at home. We watched my cousin's wedding from India on DVD and then watched the ball drop. It was pretty perfect. For once I didn't feel I should have been out celebrating...it was perfect. Next year, Greg and I plan on going to New York for New Year. At least that was his idea...sounds awesome, we'll just see if its feasible.
Today, now is the last day of my break. I'm not happy about that. My two weeks was a good break. I don't want to go back...I always go through this phase. While I'm home I want to be back in Des Moines and then give me a few extra days and I don't want to go back...mostly because I don't want to work. I do love my job, but doing hobbies would always be a bit more appealing.
I still want my sewing machine. I haven't bought it yet. I think I'll save up for it for this summer when I actually have time to play!
Okay, off to do laundry and pack up to go back tomorrow.
Well, Dec. 30th rolls around and the providers told my sister they would be there anywhere between 8-12. 9:30 rolls around and there is no sign of them, and to avoid the mishap from last month she calls the providers to make sure that they were on there way. The service help first says we have the wrong account number....her fault! Then says that they will be at our house between 11-12. My sister had to be at work by 1pm. 12:45 comes around and still no one. We call the providers again and she says the last operator should have told us that the the technicians have all day events and, really, they can come anywhere between 8 am and 8 pm! ARE YOU SERIOUS!? The operator continues to tell us that the ETA now is 1:37 pm....what? Anyway, my sister leaves for work and I said I'd handle it. I was on the phone with a friend when I noticed the provider's van outside past 2 pm, but I couldn't see the technician. I even had my brother go check to see if he could see him from downstairs. Then, when I checked again the technician was gone! He never came to the door to let us know that he had arrived, he never came to let us know it was working, or to ask us if we knew what we were doing. All, I have to say is that my mom was lucky that I was around for this because I figured it out, but it was quite a process. In my many experiences of getting a new internet service I have never had such horrible service. I also have never had to go through so many pages of inputting data to get the internet started. I mean it works fine now, but I don't think my mom would have been able to do it and the fact is that the technicians are supposed to make sure we know what we're doing. Oh well.
New Year was good. I was with my family at home. We watched my cousin's wedding from India on DVD and then watched the ball drop. It was pretty perfect. For once I didn't feel I should have been out celebrating...it was perfect. Next year, Greg and I plan on going to New York for New Year. At least that was his idea...sounds awesome, we'll just see if its feasible.
Today, now is the last day of my break. I'm not happy about that. My two weeks was a good break. I don't want to go back...I always go through this phase. While I'm home I want to be back in Des Moines and then give me a few extra days and I don't want to go back...mostly because I don't want to work. I do love my job, but doing hobbies would always be a bit more appealing.
I still want my sewing machine. I haven't bought it yet. I think I'll save up for it for this summer when I actually have time to play!
Okay, off to do laundry and pack up to go back tomorrow.
Friday, December 19, 2008
No School!
My title basically says it all.
The sad part is that all the teachers hoped to have school today because now, since we have the day off today, we have to go an extra day in June. I also wanted all my students to have their missing assignments so they could work on them over break and now nothing is going to get done. I have way too many students failing my classes because of the pumpkin packet and this was their chance to make it up. Well, now since school is closed, I guess I can go back to bed!
My week was much better but I still have a cough. My classroom is a mess and I don't like it one bit. I'm going to pay Josh to organize it for me because I really don't want to do it and he agreed to that arrangement.
Today, I plan on wrapping gifts that I have bought. I wanted to go shopping but the roads are terrible so that won't happen. BOOO. I plan on going home either tomorrow or Sunday, depending on the weather.
Well, its 6 am and I'm going to bed! haha. Goodnight/morning!
The sad part is that all the teachers hoped to have school today because now, since we have the day off today, we have to go an extra day in June. I also wanted all my students to have their missing assignments so they could work on them over break and now nothing is going to get done. I have way too many students failing my classes because of the pumpkin packet and this was their chance to make it up. Well, now since school is closed, I guess I can go back to bed!
My week was much better but I still have a cough. My classroom is a mess and I don't like it one bit. I'm going to pay Josh to organize it for me because I really don't want to do it and he agreed to that arrangement.
Today, I plan on wrapping gifts that I have bought. I wanted to go shopping but the roads are terrible so that won't happen. BOOO. I plan on going home either tomorrow or Sunday, depending on the weather.
Well, its 6 am and I'm going to bed! haha. Goodnight/morning!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
The End is Near....of My Illness!
I missed Friday's day at work and I think it was totally worth it...I was starting to get better! I think if I went to work I would have felt worse in the end, and by now I just want to be healthy again or be dead. This was a terrible illness, and I have no idea what it was....probably something bacterial or viral...I don't know which one, and neither do the doctors. I got a call from one of my doctor's nurses saying the doctor would like to see me again since I'm not getting better. Well, of course, once I get there my fever had gone down, some other doctor was going to see me, and I was feeling eehh-not too shabby. So he asked me all the things his TWO nurses asked me before and all the things the nurse asked me the first time I was there as he is looking at all that has happened to me and I think...."hmm, do you really read the things you look at or communicate with your nurses, or do you like me to just waste my breath....or do you think I lie about the way I feel?" The fact was, everytime I spoke I had to speak choppily because of my cough and because I was short of breaths. Anyway, he said the same thing..."well, I don't whats wrong with you"...and then he asked if I'd like him to prescribe something that "might" work...well, YES! He also prescribed something for my cough...with codene. Well, so here's the thing now...my pills say I can NOT lie down for at least 30 minutes after taking the medicine while my cough medicine makes me sleep....and I took them both at the same time! I didn't know I wasn't supposed to lie down and it doesn't say why I can't lie down, but I was lying down and asleep withing 10 minutes. The next day I actually read the instruction and sat up to take my pills and made sure I had an empty stomach, b/c thats what it calls for, and waited....and waited....and my stomach was burning...and burning some more...the 30 minute mark came and I lied down so fast to sleep. Well, I got up a little to cough and ended up vomitting...a lot...into the garbage can! THANK GOODNESS!! Greg shot up so fast and jump off the bed (he was watching tv as I was sleeping). That was hilarious. He stood so far away saying he jumped up to help...but from that distance? I don't think so. It was okay, I was hanging off the bed in such a way that I didn't need my hair pulled back. haha. Anyway, I tried the medicine after, and I haven't had any problems yet. Tomorrow I will go back to work. Not really excited, but I am excited its the last week before I get to go home and see my family!!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
MIA
So its been a terribly long time since I've last blogged and bunch has happened.
Thanksgiving break went more smoothly than I thought it would have. My parents loved having Greg there, my brother is actually enjoying Greg's company now and it wasn't totally weird having Greg there during the holidays...even though we don't celebrate the way he does. Oh well... he wanted to come, and therefore he had to deal with the differences. My dad went to India while I was home, so all my plans of doing a bunch of stuff with Greg in downtown Chicago didn't happen. But what did happen was that Greg talked to my parents about getting married! He said that it wouldn't happen now, (of course!), but eventually, someday in the future. My mom was thrilled and my dad was reassured. My dad did take the liberty to lecture Greg on important it is for us to finish school first (which I have!) and for us to have good jobs (which I do). Not that I'm in a hurry to get married,but my mom made the same interjections. Anyway, that was interesting. My mom later told me about it like I didn't know and that was interesting (I was away with my brother in the airport when Greg decided to do the deed).
The drive back to Des Moines was atrocious. The roads were slick as ever, there was sporadic snowing falling, cars, trucks, SUVS in the ditches, and we were driving at about 15 mph for a good portion of on I-80. Not fun at all. Luckily, Greg drove so my anxiety of driving in the dark, in snow, and inbetween trucks was lowered quite a bit. We didn't get back to the apartment until 10 pm...not so much planning done.
The week back the kids were crazy. I had to yell at one of my favorite classes and I couldn't even teach them anymore because they were so out of hand that I had them write 3 paragraph essays on how they could make their behavior better. That following Saturday I went to school to do some grading, then a Drake Basketball game that a lot of my students went to, and we ended the night going to dinner with Greg's professor.
I started feeling sick at the Drake Basketball game and by the time the game was over I was ready to lay down. Greg would not let me get out of going to dinner with him and his professor so I had to pretend I was feeling well that entire night. I had to force the food down to make it seem like I ate something. I was shivering the entire night and I couldn't wait to get home. I went home and had a horrible night....and the next three days...which leaves me to where I am right now.
I have flu like symptoms. I missed the last three days of schools because of this. I went to the doctor and she said I can't go to school until I go 24 hours without a fever. Well, my fever has gone down a little, but I still have a bit of a fever but I can't be away any longer. My class seems to be in chaos only because of yesterday because my instructions I left never got through! So now, I have to update grades that should have been done over the weekend but never got to because I was sick and plan for tomorrow's geography class. YaY!!
Thanksgiving break went more smoothly than I thought it would have. My parents loved having Greg there, my brother is actually enjoying Greg's company now and it wasn't totally weird having Greg there during the holidays...even though we don't celebrate the way he does. Oh well... he wanted to come, and therefore he had to deal with the differences. My dad went to India while I was home, so all my plans of doing a bunch of stuff with Greg in downtown Chicago didn't happen. But what did happen was that Greg talked to my parents about getting married! He said that it wouldn't happen now, (of course!), but eventually, someday in the future. My mom was thrilled and my dad was reassured. My dad did take the liberty to lecture Greg on important it is for us to finish school first (which I have!) and for us to have good jobs (which I do). Not that I'm in a hurry to get married,but my mom made the same interjections. Anyway, that was interesting. My mom later told me about it like I didn't know and that was interesting (I was away with my brother in the airport when Greg decided to do the deed).
The drive back to Des Moines was atrocious. The roads were slick as ever, there was sporadic snowing falling, cars, trucks, SUVS in the ditches, and we were driving at about 15 mph for a good portion of on I-80. Not fun at all. Luckily, Greg drove so my anxiety of driving in the dark, in snow, and inbetween trucks was lowered quite a bit. We didn't get back to the apartment until 10 pm...not so much planning done.
The week back the kids were crazy. I had to yell at one of my favorite classes and I couldn't even teach them anymore because they were so out of hand that I had them write 3 paragraph essays on how they could make their behavior better. That following Saturday I went to school to do some grading, then a Drake Basketball game that a lot of my students went to, and we ended the night going to dinner with Greg's professor.
I started feeling sick at the Drake Basketball game and by the time the game was over I was ready to lay down. Greg would not let me get out of going to dinner with him and his professor so I had to pretend I was feeling well that entire night. I had to force the food down to make it seem like I ate something. I was shivering the entire night and I couldn't wait to get home. I went home and had a horrible night....and the next three days...which leaves me to where I am right now.
I have flu like symptoms. I missed the last three days of schools because of this. I went to the doctor and she said I can't go to school until I go 24 hours without a fever. Well, my fever has gone down a little, but I still have a bit of a fever but I can't be away any longer. My class seems to be in chaos only because of yesterday because my instructions I left never got through! So now, I have to update grades that should have been done over the weekend but never got to because I was sick and plan for tomorrow's geography class. YaY!!
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